The Bitter Taste of Juice
March is usually the time of year where women start to wear more revealing clothing and men who have the attention span longer than the typical television commercial look forward to the upcoming baseball season. Or in my particular case, you get this little reminder of why looking forward to baseball season for me is a Sisyphean effort.
Right now I would love to concoct a more myopic opinion on this and stick with my original defense of Barry (i.e.: He has yet to test positive for a currently banned steroid and has said so himself), but he's not making things any easier. More of his own words may shed some light, so here's a neat little quote from the Man himself:
Besides these comments possibly being used as the best way to discourage your children from attending Arizona State, I don't have much of a retort for this. I don't have any rebuttal that any reasonable person would even come close to taking seriously.
My gift for basic common sense notwithstanding, SI's reading of the Riot Act today hasn't stopped some Giants fans from throwing the "oh they're out to get Barry" or my personal favorite "Giants fans are disliked because of the slightly liberal leanings of the home team's city and because we have a message board where we discuss dildos and S&M." (okay I make the last half of that up). This poses two problems for me personally, in that I'm not a liberal and don't have much use for dildos or S&M. (Though with my penchant for multitasking, I still would like a good menaige a trois before I die.)
It's indeed a waste of time for me to formally apologize for the rest of the knuckleheads in the Giants fan base because most of America knows unequivocally that San Francisco is not a place where the sane are welcome. Most if not all great civilizations had places where the infirm, the kooky and the idiotically immature can all meet and discuss which STD they'd like to contract. The Old Testament had Sodom and Gomorrah, the ancient Greeks had Athens and America has San Francisco. For example, San Francisco once had a nutcase in their midst named Emporer Norton who was so kind as to remind all these United States that he was considerd its "Emporer", perhaps the pre-cursor to Gavin Newsom's perfunctory gay marriage license.
(I'd like to take a detour here and touch on the Bill O'Reilly comment linked above. I've always said that the easiest way to find out who is a liberal is someone who reflexively thinks of O'Reilly as a "conservative". Furthermore, why launch a terrorist attack on Coit Tower when you can simply mock it? It's pretty phallic looking wouldn't you say? Perhaps we could get some wise asses at the NRA to put a large condom looking plastic covering over it with a sign saying "The Only Protection Allowed in San Francisco". Let's keep the blowing up of buildings and acts of terror to Al Qaeda could we Bill? Thanks. Good thing he's not a conservative or anything otherwise I'd really be pissed.)
The Giants aren't immune from this sort of thing either. (Any Giants fan who was old enough to remember the Krazy Krab, the quintessential anti-mascot could tell you that). Like building a stadium for the Giants in 1960 in the worst place in the City to build just so [Giants owner] Horace Stoneham could have enough parking spaces. Or instead of constructing a team that was a tough out from 1-8, a pitching staff that could use it's ballpark to it's advantage, the Giants thought "hey dudes, let's pin all of our hopes on Barry and this Greg Anderson guy he's been hanging out with and see where it takes us".
I'm not particularly miffed at the fact that for the past half dozen seasons we have employed a suspected cheater. It's that now the accomplishments of his teammates--and in turn the team itself--have now been tarnished. When people think of the San Francisco Giants of the past several seasons, they now won't think of J.T. Snow's brilliant defense at first base. They won't think of the pitching performances of Jason Schmidt or Russ Ortiz. They won't even think of Jeff Kent breaking his hand in a tragic truck washing incident (thank God). They will think of a team that...cheated.
Ultimately, I'm a Giants fan first and a Barry Bonds fan a very distant second. If we find out that the accusations were false, fine. If they are true and the asterisks are placed next to his name in the record books (which may not be the proper punishment), then Giants fans like me will have to live with the reality of the fact that the organization we've come to know and love had a steroid user on it's payroll.
Say it ain't so, Barry. Say it ain't so.
-TK
Right now I would love to concoct a more myopic opinion on this and stick with my original defense of Barry (i.e.: He has yet to test positive for a currently banned steroid and has said so himself), but he's not making things any easier. More of his own words may shed some light, so here's a neat little quote from the Man himself:
"I think we have other issues in this country to worry about that are a lot more serious. Talk about the athletes that are helping [Hurricane] Katrina. Ask yourselves how much money y'all personally donated and have helped. You know what? There are still other issues that are more important [than steroid use in baseball]. Right now people are losing lives and don't have homes. I think that's a little more serious, a lot more serious. I've been tarnished in baseball for years and years, brother. There's nothing you guys can write or people can say that will ever fix that. It doesn't matter anymore. I go out there and enjoy the game."
Besides these comments possibly being used as the best way to discourage your children from attending Arizona State, I don't have much of a retort for this. I don't have any rebuttal that any reasonable person would even come close to taking seriously.
My gift for basic common sense notwithstanding, SI's reading of the Riot Act today hasn't stopped some Giants fans from throwing the "oh they're out to get Barry" or my personal favorite "Giants fans are disliked because of the slightly liberal leanings of the home team's city and because we have a message board where we discuss dildos and S&M." (okay I make the last half of that up). This poses two problems for me personally, in that I'm not a liberal and don't have much use for dildos or S&M. (Though with my penchant for multitasking, I still would like a good menaige a trois before I die.)
It's indeed a waste of time for me to formally apologize for the rest of the knuckleheads in the Giants fan base because most of America knows unequivocally that San Francisco is not a place where the sane are welcome. Most if not all great civilizations had places where the infirm, the kooky and the idiotically immature can all meet and discuss which STD they'd like to contract. The Old Testament had Sodom and Gomorrah, the ancient Greeks had Athens and America has San Francisco. For example, San Francisco once had a nutcase in their midst named Emporer Norton who was so kind as to remind all these United States that he was considerd its "Emporer", perhaps the pre-cursor to Gavin Newsom's perfunctory gay marriage license.
(I'd like to take a detour here and touch on the Bill O'Reilly comment linked above. I've always said that the easiest way to find out who is a liberal is someone who reflexively thinks of O'Reilly as a "conservative". Furthermore, why launch a terrorist attack on Coit Tower when you can simply mock it? It's pretty phallic looking wouldn't you say? Perhaps we could get some wise asses at the NRA to put a large condom looking plastic covering over it with a sign saying "The Only Protection Allowed in San Francisco". Let's keep the blowing up of buildings and acts of terror to Al Qaeda could we Bill? Thanks. Good thing he's not a conservative or anything otherwise I'd really be pissed.)
The Giants aren't immune from this sort of thing either. (Any Giants fan who was old enough to remember the Krazy Krab, the quintessential anti-mascot could tell you that). Like building a stadium for the Giants in 1960 in the worst place in the City to build just so [Giants owner] Horace Stoneham could have enough parking spaces. Or instead of constructing a team that was a tough out from 1-8, a pitching staff that could use it's ballpark to it's advantage, the Giants thought "hey dudes, let's pin all of our hopes on Barry and this Greg Anderson guy he's been hanging out with and see where it takes us".
I'm not particularly miffed at the fact that for the past half dozen seasons we have employed a suspected cheater. It's that now the accomplishments of his teammates--and in turn the team itself--have now been tarnished. When people think of the San Francisco Giants of the past several seasons, they now won't think of J.T. Snow's brilliant defense at first base. They won't think of the pitching performances of Jason Schmidt or Russ Ortiz. They won't even think of Jeff Kent breaking his hand in a tragic truck washing incident (thank God). They will think of a team that...cheated.
Ultimately, I'm a Giants fan first and a Barry Bonds fan a very distant second. If we find out that the accusations were false, fine. If they are true and the asterisks are placed next to his name in the record books (which may not be the proper punishment), then Giants fans like me will have to live with the reality of the fact that the organization we've come to know and love had a steroid user on it's payroll.
Say it ain't so, Barry. Say it ain't so.
-TK
posted by Just Blog, Baby! at 6:53 PM
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